I was taken aback by my old friend, where she expressed her unhappiness at how I perceive life.
True as it can be, I was being frank. I guess being frank and learning from experience won’t help. I don’t think I have said anything wrong.
But anyway, back to topic.
I have been thinking these few days, and is marriage a sensitive topic? I mean, I see marriage as an agreement between the guy and the girl, having to spend the rest of their old days together and have many children (if possible) where you can start playing mom and dad.
Have you ever wondered that those who actually planned their marriage don’t normally get what they want? That’s why I prefer playing “happy go lucky”. Like what she said, I am the “in the moment” kind of person.
But I don’t really think I’m “in the moment”. I do plan, yes, but sometimes I feel that my plans are just not working out. That’s why I stick to being happy. I’d rather spend the rest of my youth without thinking too much about what I’m going to do in the next few years. I’d rather spend my time thinking about what I’m going to eat tomorrow, where am I going in the weekends, or what I am going to buy when my pay comes. Technically, I’m just spending off my youth doing things “I couldn’t do when I was younger”, so this is the ONLY time I do that.
Don’t take me wrong, I’m not being childish. And I know what I’m doing. That’s why my very first step is to get a stable job. But I’m never pressured or stressed about NOT getting a job. I don’t panic nor feel insecured about it. I know one day, I will find the right job with the right money to supplement my “wants”. After that, then I’ll think about what I “need”.
Weird isn’t it? People live to get what they need first, then their wants. But I come to realise that I won’t live long enough to see that. That’s why I don’t care spending off my money.
Money is for spending, not for keeping.
Well, comes to marriage. Having a relationship don’t mean anything. Saying “I love you” or “I miss you” over a million times doesn’t do anything. Instead, having the money to maintain the relationship means alot of things. I realised that we have our own craziness over a few things like computers (for me) etc. But of course, everything starts with money.
No money, no talk.
Well, before marriage, I’ve always thought that engagement is another important thing. Being in love and really loving someone else means more than anything. Think about it: You keep saying “I’ll do anything for you”, but in reality, do you? I’m sure you have set a very high expectations of the other half, you tend to expect a lot, and the other half is trying very very hard to please you. Trust me, I’m a guy, I know.
But if engagement sounds like “it’s just a ring” matter, then I don’t think it would sound serious at all. I mean, come on, engagement means you’re publicly announcing that you’re even more serious than being a measly “boyfriend-girlfriend” shit, that’s why you go all the trouble spending money on that stupid ring. And do you know why 99.99% of the engaged try to get married in the end? They don’t want to lose the face.
I’ve been there, and I’ve seen. My own sister. I really cannot imagine the amount of disgust I get off her ex-fiance’s family and friends. It doesn’t even involve me leh! I’m not the one getting engaged what? But it’s always the family that gets blamed first!
So, that’s why I always say: “if you do seriously love somebody, you will REALLY DO ANYTHING for him/her.” And that’s what I’m doing to myself. I’m doing myself a favour to really do anything for my gf, because I know she meant a lot to me.
Even if my father is dying or I’m poor like a pauper, I don’t care. As long as there’s a will, there’s a way. As long as there’s love, there’s a way. As long as there’s money, THERE IS SURELY A WAY.
Why do most people even go through that trouble? Think about it.
Yesterday I had a meeting with some customer. They are married couples and they share very interesting stories to me, which I had to share with you too. One of them was saying (all of them are women) “do you realise that your husband don’t do as much as what you started off when dating each other”?
I find that it could be true. This is life, and this is reality. You see, when you are dating, you try very hard to please each other. That’s why, guys tends to go the extra mile having to really really “understand their problems”, “listen to them”, and “be there for them”. That is literally because, that is what a guy is made for.
Another said: “when I was younger, this guy opened the car door for me. But I said to him ‘are you going to this everytime or just this time’? and he was taken aback by that. Then he didn’t opened the door anymore.”
Setting your expectation when required, else the guy will think that “everything was ok”.
Sometimes meeting with these people made me think about what I can do to make my relationship even more fruitful.
Oh well, guess I talked too much. Don’t listen to what I say. And remember, “love can do anything”.
Just follow your heart.
P.S: Sorry comments will be closed. Too political. 
